Letter to a lost love.

20 Jan

Altough you’re out of sight, out of words. Your voice still lingers, drones inside my head. I hear the tone of your voice, only existing out of words made of air. The same thing, the same words. I wish they would just float away. It’s not like they’re still usefull.  And I remember, very detailed, how you made me feel. I thought I knew you. But I didn’t know a thing. The sound of your laugh, Your disarming smile. Your Mysterious eyes. But the only thing that was a mystery was your life. I remember definitley how I felt, when my lips touched yours, like they were playing a game of hide and seek. But the only one who was playing a game was you.

I remember you once told me, that a lot had happend. You didn’t dare to look me in the eye, words of air. You made me feel like I wasn’t there. So then I made a wise decision never to care about you again. But we both know, that’s a long time ago, and I revisioned my  decision, thinking you were just a friend. How much worse could It get..

Now the tables are turned. We left, angry , alone, dissapointed. Not another hollow word. Not another lie.  Keeping your stack of promises up in your room. Your promises of a new life. I’m not naive. I knew all along, that I was fighting for a lost cause. I just didn’t knew how lost. I wish I didn’t knew what I know now. It seems like you are living a lie, instead of a dream.I hope you’ll find your way, back on the right track. But I’m afraid that won’t happen. I won’t be there. My heart tells me to stay, but my head already walked out the door.Dillema.  I wish I didn’t care, I wish all the bad things, -and you know, there are a lot of bad things,- would overcome my love for you. I told you once before, nothing would change that. I’m scared nothing will. It’s for the best that our eyes will never meet again. I hate it, but It’s for the best, the best for me.

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